yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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