I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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