I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this just has baby written all over it
This house was built for laser tag.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
