She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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