Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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