She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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