I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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