you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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