if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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