I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize