I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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