if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize