just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think i have two assholes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dear god my vagina.
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