I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
