my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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