I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.