Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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