I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i love accidental penises.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming