I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can