oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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