I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
