Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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