Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
