is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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