my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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