I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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