He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
