It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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