Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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