So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
