you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize