sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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