i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
