Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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