He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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