If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
