Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
