Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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