Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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