it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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