Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
