This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
