singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
