This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
