she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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