My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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