No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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