I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
