please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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