i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
