I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
