Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
