So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
my liver is dry heaving
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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