i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
