between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
