there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
