All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
