I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
