Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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