I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone shit on the floor
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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