so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
