Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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