After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
