When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
