The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
